


da mi basia mille

by cikicuba



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 14:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cikicuba/pseuds/cikicuba
Summary: To put it simply there’s a story behind all those eye glance, burning touch, sheepish smile, subtle embrace, and untold feelings.





	da mi basia mille

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: before you come to me and accusing i stole anything, i wanted to give credits to all the translation of any Mingyu & Wonwoo moments that apparently helped me at it's best on writing this. if you get the sense that those words are yours, then thank you so much. eventhough i couldn't mention one by one, but thank you. i hope you enjoy how i turned it to be.
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/cikicuba/playlist/7AxSSyE0BdrgtbebYHowEg?si=taQqwwa0T_OIsgizkNWP6Q)

_how about we get to know each other better_  
_before one of us does something stupid?_

 

**Send message?**

 

**Delete message.**

 

A wise man said a new house is a new life. It’s when something started, blank white pages where you can freely paint. Home is a time for comfort, the touch of friendly fire. Time for good food and warm laugh. And that as well applies for Mingyu and the other members. Each one of them had their own purposes to come home after a long journey. A long day from a music show, a tiring interview, dozens of photoshoots, and many other schedules to attend.

The old dorm was packed and they were too many of them. With the number of hard works they put on the line, Seungcheol thinks they deserve a bigger and better place to live. The company agreed, the location already picked and today they finally will officially move. Chan was the most eager about this whole moving thing. He said he can’t wait to be independent and own a room all for himself. Seungcheol disagrees with him by telling the boy will surely have a roommate due to the lack of room they currently have.

Wonwoo and Seungcheol ended up in the same room but that’s not surprising. Wonwoo depended so much on the dude, and both of them clearly had so much in common. Seungcheol understands Wonwoo at his best. Maybe it’s about comfortability, but Mingyu can’t help but feeling envy towards the said connection. What he didn’t expect is for them to completely changed the room into a gaming corner and moved Wonwoo’s bed in the living room.

“What the hell?” it’s making him uncomfortable when he looks Wonwoo moving the damn bed himself. The other guy even still had the audacity to put on an innocent face in front of him.

“What?”

“Why is your bed out here?”

“There isn’t any room left in there.”

Preventing the older to push the bed himself, Mingyu pulls him and make him sit instead. “There will be plenty if you just give up all your computer thingy.”

“It’s called game equipment.”

“Do I look like I care?” really, sometimes he had the urge to squish Wonwoo’s head and burying it inside a jar. “Hyung, you can’t sleep here.”

Wonwoo tilting his face a little, furrowing the eyebrows. “And why is that?”

“I-It’s scary!”

Again, the older furrowing his eyebrows.

“It’s cold, you’ll be sick!”

Wonwoo still can’t proceed the argument.

“Because I’m not allowed you to.” Mingyu can feel the sudden tense on Wonwoo’s body and he kinda regrets saying the thing he just said. “I’m not allowed you to sleep out here alone. There will be no one looking after you, Wonwoo hyung… I’m worried. And it’ll be colder in here. The others will also bother you when they walk into the kitchen. I want you to sleep comfortably.”

Wonwoo avoiding Mingyu’s eyes by looking at the mountain stacks of clothes beside his bed. “It’s okay, you’ll be in the next room if I need anything.”

Mingyu knows that’s how Wonwoo biding the argument, making Mingyu vulnerable in just one shoot. Mingyu lose in the battle he started himself, and that’s all because his heart tingles with something the older said. Of the feeling of being needed and everything in between. It’s a dead end for him. Wonwoo is just… he somehow can be Mingyu’s greatest weakness.

Jihoon coming from inside the room with both hands inside his training pants pocket, walking towards them with his annoying questionable face. “What? Why is it so tense In here?”

“Nothing.” Mingyu shrugging his shoulder and walking past the little man. He put his hand on top of Wonwoo’s head and rubbing it messily before go even further.

Jihoon then put another questionable face and sit on the tall man’s previous chair. “What’s up with the kid?”

“He’s mad.”

“Again? Man, his temper lately.” Says Jihoon while opening his cola bottle. “What did you do this time?”

“Didn’t do anything.”

“If you wanna lie then try harder.”

“I moved my bed outside so me and Cheol hyung can have a better room to play games. And then he just mad at me.”

Jihoon snorts, choked a little on his drink. “I swear to God. You’re like, twenty-three years old grown-up adult. What possibly can happen out here?”

“That’s what I’m trying to say to him.” Wonwoo walking towards the living room, trying to fix all the mess in there. 

“You know Jeon,” Jihoon moves into the bed as well and annoys Wonwoo by sleeping there and interfere with his unpack session. “That giant doofus has seriously had a problem.”

“Why so?”

“Well first because he’s so fucking overprotective towards you, okay? That’s insane.”

“No... He’s like that towards everybody.” Wonwoo takes a moment to look at Jihoon’s face, and the man gives him a judgy expression. “ _Isn’t he?_ ”

“Uh, just FYI, I’ve been inside my studio for days and basically consuming junk food last holiday and I don’t see Kim barging in there and nag about my unhealthy lifestyles.” Jihoon can see it, the spark of pink blush on Wonwoo’s cheek. But the dude didn’t say anything in regards.

Wonwoo exhales, focusing back on the chorus. “What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing,” the small man casually throwing his cola bottle to the air, then catch it again. “Just letting your dense head figured it out yourself.”

Wonwoo keeping his mouth shut for the rest of the day.

  
That night is their first dinner in the new dorm. Because they have to split the dorm due to the number of total members they had, it’s kind of stuffy when all of them gathered in one dorm only. But Seungcheol said their first meal in here must be all of them eating it together and no one can say no to the old man. They ordered fifteen Jajangmyeon after a long discussion. One for each of them, and the other two for their managers. Wonwoo is sitting on top of his bed, his food was left untouched and both of his hands busy playing something on his phone. Mingyu sits quite far from the man and he can’t help but feeling devastated while chewing on his food.

“So what’s for tomorrow, hyung?” says Seungkwan, coming from the kitchen and bring them a few cans of beer.

Younghwan, their newest and also the youngest manager wiping his mouth with some tissue. “The company want to discuss the Ideal Cut’s setlist, and then fitting for the outfit. After that, you need to learn the new choreography for the new comeback.” Everyone nodding, eyes on their food. Their packed schedule wasn’t something unusual anymore at this point.

“What about Sunday?” Chan’s eyes sparkling, full of hope.

“Free to go on Sunday.”

“Yash!” the maknae pointing his chopstick up, suddenly excited. After getting a weird look from all his hyungs he finally calming down, coughing. “I have a private life, okay?”

“Honey, we all know it’s your dog’s birthday tomorrow.” Jeonghan chewing calmly, eyeing Chan from across.

“It-it’s not. I really did have something important to do.”

“Yeah, buying a balloon for your dog?” again, Jeonghan and his casual talk.

The younger grunting in annoyance. “I hate you, hyung.”

“You love me, kid.” Jeonghan winks, and then everyone laughing at Chan. Seungcheol even comes closer and rub the kid’s head.

After the discussion, everyone is busy talking to each other or giving themselves a tour in the new house. Wonwoo still on his previous position, drowning on his own world. His food was only half-touched when Mingyu approaching him to take it to the trash.

“You’re not eating it.”

“I’m quite occupied.”

“Can you at least eat first?”

“Mmm, after I finish.”

The brown-haired man sighs, taking the big black plastic into the corner and sit in front of the older. And then he starts to feed Wonwoo while the other man busy with whatever he’s been doing on his phone.

“Open your mouth.”

Wonwoo pausing his game for a while and looking subtly at the food, at everyone, and then at the tall man in front of him. Without saying anything he opens his mouth, then going back to his game. He’s chewing with Mingyu looking at him intensively. Wonwoo glads there’s food in his mouth because then he can fake to swallow the food rather than gulp nervously. Mingyu feeds him more without saying anything. He just sits there. lips quirking, occasional talking to other members before fully focusing on Wonwoo again. No one questioning the gesture, nor looking at them weirdly.

Wonwoo is done with his food when finally Mingyu prepares to get up and throw the bowl into the trash when the said man pulls Mingyu’s arm softly, his finger hanging in there awkwardly. But Mingyu understands so he proceeded to sit back beside him. Closer this time, as he knows it’ll be too hard for the older to talk among all these crowds.

“Mhm?” Mingyu says, delicately.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you going to work on Sunday?”

Mingyu drown in confusion for a while before finally sinking what the man beside him trying to say. “Oh. Sadly, yes. Inkigayo, remember?”

“But Younghwan hyung said we’re free to go.”

“Well it’s not gonna be long anyway… I’ll be back in the before dinner.” Wonwoo seems wasn’t satisfied with the answer. He lowering his head to avoid Mingyu’s eyes, finger stretching messily on the bedsheet. So Mingyu put the dirty bowl away and reach for the older’s chin. Pulling it tenderly so he can look the man in the eyes. “What is it?”

“I just… I hate it when you’re not here.”

Mingyu pursing his lips, eyes preying the petite black haired man, teasing. “You're not even talking to me when I’m around.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true. You always smile a lot when you’re with Soonyoung hyung… You’re asking Seungcheol hyung for help. You joke around with everyone else. But not me, never been me.”

“I’m not— it’s really not—" Wonwoo bites his lips.

“You’ll get rest on Sunday, I’ll be back before you know it. And by rest I mean _rest_ , not playing all those video game thingies which I don’t understand even a bit and never will.”

Mingyu then gets up, ruffling his hair for one last time before leaving Wonwoo sitting there with his thought.

  
It’s been thirty minutes since Mingyu unstoppably shifting on his bed, feeling uncomfortable. It’s hard to find a good position or calming the storm inside his thought all at once. He kicks on his blanket, making the said thing fall from the bed. Five minutes later Jihoon throwing a pillow into his face. Quite hard, to be exact. The smaller man seems pretty annoyed and Mingyu can tell when finally he turns on the light and grit his teeth right at Mingyu.

“Fucking get out and check on Jeon. Give him the damn blanket, make him a hot chocolate or whatever. Just fucking get out. I can’t bear any more of your loud cringe thought about whether the dude sleep alright or not.”

“I wasn’t—”

“ _Get out._ ”

“But Jihoon hyung—”

“ _Get. Out._ ”

So Mingyu gets himself out, bringing the blanket with him. For what, he still didn’t know. But when he opens the door, looking straight at the bed and the man on top of it, Mingyu suddenly feeling like running to the nearest IKEA and buy every blanket in there. He awkwardly cough, just so Wonwoo can acknowledge his presence.

The petite man notices the voice by putting his phone away and sitting straight on the small bed. “Oh. You’re still up?”

“Yeah. Um, just getting some water.”

Wonwoo nods, not leaving the younger eyes. “And the blanket?”

Mingyu eyeing the damn blanket on his grips, sighing embarrassedly. He’s walking toward Wonwoo and put the blanket all over him. “It’s for you.”

“For me?”

“Mhm.”

Wonwoo pulls the blanket up into his nose, sniffling on the thing. “Smells like you.”

“Well it’s mine, what do you expect?” Mingyu chuckles, walking into the kitchen. “Do you want some hot chocolate?”

The other man took a long time before finally answering. “Mingyu?”

“Yes?”

“I’m hungry.”

The tall man chuckles again, looking back. “Okay.”

Mingyu making the ramyun and also the hot chocolate for both of them while Wonwoo moving himself to sit on the stoll chair, eyes on the tall man in wonder. He puts his hand below his chin, checking the clock on the wall that says one o’clock in the morning. “Did you see it?”

“See what?”

“My interview.”

“We have a lot of interview hyung, be more specific.”

Wonwoo knocking his finger into the table boredly. “The one when I said I thank you for making me ramyun.”

Mingyu coming back and put the hotpot with a boiling ramyun inside between them and give Wonwoo a small plate, also the chopstick. “No?”

“No?” Wonwoo pouting, clearly sound disappointed.

“I only read the one at fansign when you said I was your enemy.” The younger smirks, making Wonwoo whining on his seat.

“That was a long time ago.”

“I was your enemy back then?”

“You never was. It was meant to be a joke.”

“So the _thank you_ interview were also a joke?”

Wonwoo groaning and then hit Mingyu with his chopstick. “You said you didn’t watch!”

Mingyu just laughs, and laugh, and laugh. And then Wonwoo’s smile blooming and Mingyu feels utterly warm inside his chest. “We’re gonna wake the entire house.”

“Then stop giggling you, idiot.” Wonwoo himself can’t help but cover the smile with his finger.

They finish eating around one past thirty then Mingyu proceeds to wash the dish immediately. What he doesn’t expect is for someone to hug him from behind, making him jolts in front of the sink. Mingyu doesn't shrug him away, if anything he lets the petite man staying there all he wants. Wonwoo snuggling in there for quite long and Mingyu almost finish with the dishes. He moves his chin on top of the tall man’s right shoulder and locking his hands in front of Mingyu’s abdomen.

“You know, I also watched that Going Seventeen episode where I tried to hold you but you shoved me away.”

“I never do that.” Says Wonwoo with a hoarse voice, right beside Mingyu’s ear.

“Yeah? Let’s go on youtube right now.”

“Nope. Internet’s banned for tonight.”

Mingyu wipe his hand on a napkin, then turning his body to face the petite man, holding him by the waist. Mingyu rubs it slowly with his thumb while sinking the realization of how the man has such a small waist but a very broad shoulder. Wonwoo yawning and rubbing on his eyes, hair sticking everywhere. “Okay champ, time to sleep. We had lots to do tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Hyung?”

“Yes?”

“Let me keep you company for tonight.”

Wonwoo stopped rubbing his eyes, freezing in disbelief. “Out here?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Is that okay?”

Mingyu shrugging his shoulder like he doesn’t clearly understand what’s the problem. “We just sleep.”

“Mhm but… would that be weird?”

The tall man releases his grip from Wonwoo’s waist, feeling uneasy. “For who? For them? Or for us?”

Wonwoo didn’t answer, eyes lowering to the floor. He needed to be in a drunken mind when it comes to Mingyu. He needed to be insanely crazy in order to get it right at everything’s that have been laying in between them. Wonwoo doesn’t know where to go, who to ask, and how to face it. He wants to convince himself that it’s just a phase, a sign that he’s lonely and Mingyu was happened to be there.

It’s not like he can just find whoever he likes and be the boyfriend of someone, being an idol completely slowing his pace on that area. And frankly speaking, it’s kind of impossible for him to date in the first place. What he didn’t expect is for Mingyu to come and give him affection to feel all the thing he’s never ever been experienced before and surprisingly get comfortable with it. It’s a sin, but a quite a heavenly one. Wonwoo had no idea what he was going to do about it.

But Wonwoo was utterly scared. He’s afraid of being judged by the rest of the world, and he’s afraid if either one of them will get hurt. Sometimes he wants to push Mingyu away and say that this is wrong, and this isn’t normal. It’s not how it supposed to be and it’s just wrong. The rest of the world didn’t approve. But every time he looks at the tall man with his perplexingly sweet gesture and puppy eyes, all the thing he’s about to say vanish into the thin air.

Fun fact, that wasn’t the only one or two miserable things that have been bothering Wonwoo’s mind, the other ninety-nine is getting on the line and ready fucked up. It’s just another day to draw boundaries and put aside his ego and be rational for all he cares.

“It’s okay, Gyu. We can sleep. C’mon.”

Wonwoo brings Mingyu to lay beside him, and due to the small bed, the tall man had to tilt his body sideways. He likes it this way so he can see Wonwoo more freely even though all he did was just staring and waiting.

“Let’s put it this way; just don’t ignore me when we’re alone.”

Wonwoo gulps, swallowing the damn scary thought until it all becomes specks of dust. “Yeah, let’s try that.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

 

When they wake up in the morning, all they can hear is the sound of people chattering all over the house. Someone making toasts in the kitchen, someone opening the refrigerator. One of them must be walking around asking for a missing sock and the other humming _My Heart Will Go On_ in the bathroom.

Wonwoo opening his eyes and immediately being welcomed by Mingyu’s nose right between his eyes. He still smells good, the smell Wonwoo clearly recognize. The younger didn’t even flinch when Wonwoo trying to escape from his embrace. He can feel their feet entangling and the warmness from Mingyu’s breath straight into Wonwoo’s face.

Soonyoung walking through them while holding only his left pair of socks in confusion, but when his eyes meet with Wonwoo he raises his eyebrow teasingly. “Rough night?”

“You’re not supposed to be here, Soonyoung.”

“And that kind isn’t supposed to be there.” Again, Soonyoung and his annoying eyebrows. “I can’t find my socks upstairs so I assume it’ll be here. That’s gotta do something with Lee Seokmin and his stealing instinct.”

“ _I DIDN’T STEAL ANYTHING!_ ” Seokmin peaking from the bathroom hall with his bare chest and a towel around the waist then go back inside.

Soonyoung rolling his eyes. “See? I told you it was him. But by the way please wake the lover boy up ‘cause we need to go in an hour. Or you two wanted to continue whatever been going on there?”

“Nothing’s been going on.”

Soonyoung lifting both of his hands up. “I’m just assuming y’know… with the blanket and all.”

“We’re decent and it’s called sleeping.”

“Yeah, yeah,” The other man put a mockingly features and keep teasing Wonwoo by nodding his head suspiciously. “Whatever makes you sleep at night, buddy.”

Wonwoo groaning, proceed to lean his head back on the pillow and cover his eyes with his arm. “Fuck you, Kwon.”

“Not my call!”

 

“So basically we’re gonna record the whole concert and made it into a DVD. Try to be more cheerful, more powerful, and serve more fanservice than the usual.” All of them nods at what the CEO just said and write it down on their notes. “I think we need to settle on what kind of fanservice are we gonna give because we don’t want it to look overacting. Any suggestion?”

Seungkwan raises his hand and the CEO signalling him to shoot away. “DVD can’t be boring, right? We want them to experience it as much as the real one. How about we do something like a pair on a song? In the previous concert, we used Healing as our final execution and I think it’s quite matched since we can run around and all, interacted more with fans. And now with Aju Nice as our final song. Then it’s got to be special; a never-ending excitement. We need to make it as unforgettable as it can.”

“Wait, I get it. You want to fake the ending to make them think it’s the end before finally drop the bomb?” Hansol adds excitedly and Seungkwan winks in return.

“Exactly. We need to break down and detailed every part of Aju Nice then, like that part when Seungcheol and Jeonghan hyung will rendezvous in the middle, do something about it. Have fun with each other and all.” Seungkwan finishes his presentation with a proudness on his features and Seokmin gives him two thumbs. Hansol from across, smiling calmly.

Jisoo proceeds to raise his hand also and the CEO let him speak. “After we fake the ending, how about we run everywhere then return into the middle stage and just dancing weirdly?” Everyone shouting an ‘ _OOHHH_ ’ at Jisoo’s idea and the man raising his eyebrows in a tease. “Do it repeatedly, like every member has to do it before finally it’s all of us.”

The CEO approves the idea almost immediately. “Good. After this each of you should discuss what the signature moves are gonna be. I’m gonna head first but don’t forget to also practice the whole thing. Cheol, you report this to me.” Seungcheol gives him a salute then wink his eye.

After the CEO has gone everyone started to talk among themselves, discussing this and that. They play Aju Nice performance on the screen, break it down one by one. Seungcheol suggests he and Wonwoo should’ve just do shoulder bump when they part come and Wonwoo as always just agree. It was Mingyu and Wonwoo’s part when everyone starts to focus their eyes on them and Wonwoo flinches, burdened.

“Do you… guys want to do something in particular?” It was Minghao who break the silence and Mingyu couldn’t be more thankful.

“Yeah. Uh… What do you think, hyung?”

Wonwoo zooming his eyes at the younger, feeling betrayed. “You have a more creative idea than me.”

“Well we could just… some kind of embracing each other? Or intertwining our fingers, that would be nice. Or… bumping our forehead just like we did in our previous duet. Or! Wink to each other?”

Everyone in the room literally goes on a dead silence, freezing in place. Jeonghan awkwardly coughing and Junhui whistle in the most annoying way possible. Mingyu suddenly wants to sucker-punch himself.

Seungcheol then clearing his throat in order to get all the focus back on him. “Do you guys want to just discuss it internally?”

“Yes.” Wonwoo interfering in a rush. “We will just discuss it later.”

Apparently they don’t really have that much time to talk for the rest of the day, and when they finally home Mingyu is going straight to his room without saying anything. At dinner the tall man didn’t even come outside and eat with them. Jihoon said he’s sleeping like dead and he also don’t want to be woken up for dinner.

“The kid said he wanted to sleep early ‘cause he had Inkigayo tomorrow morning.”

And with that everyone done discussing about Mingyu.

At night Seungcheol calls Wonwoo to play a game inside the room so they played until 2 am in the morning when suddenly his computer stopped working and went blackout. It’s been thirty minutes since both he and Seungcheol tried to fix it but the damn thing just won't work.

The older man seems deadly tired from the way he throws his body into the bed. “Let’s just ask Mingyu to fix it in the morning.”

Wonwoo didn’t say anything but subtly nods. “Yeah.” And then he goes back to his bed and sleep.

  
When Wonwoo opened his eyes in the morning, he sees Mingyu on the floor wearing his shoes. Unlike Wonwoo who has hair sticking everywhere on his head, a lousy t-shirt and grey boxer briefs on his body, Mingyu already on his white t-shirt, denim jeans and jacket. His hair is still slightly damp but nonetheless he looks good. Way more too good.

Wonwoo snuggling on his pillow, eyeing the brown-haired man with sleepy eyes. Mingyu still wasn’t aware that Wonwoo is already awake so he uses the chance to look at him as much as he wants. How he’s cutely struggling between tying his shoelace and drinking his energy juice, and how he keeps looking at the clock to make sure he still has more time to do stuff. It was when the man moving his eyes from the clock on the wall then below when finally his eyes meet Wonwoo. Mingyu smiles genuinely, proceed himself to walk towards the man.

“Hi there you.”

“Good morning.” Wonwoo uses his knuckles to rub his eyes. “You didn’t come out to eat last night.”

“Yeah, I was deadly tired.”

“Goodluck for today.”

Mingyu ruffling his hyung’s hair while chuckling. “Thanks. I needed a little bit of luck.”

Wonwoo staring on his room’s door for a second remembering last night’s incident before finally back to the tall man. “Mingyu?”

“Yes?”

“Um… I think I need your help to fix my computer.”

“Again?” Mingyu asks in a worried tone. “What in the world did you do to the poor thing? I just fixed it two weeks ago!”

“Didn’t do anything.”

“Nice alibi, hyung.” The tall man flicking his forehead and Wonwoo flinches like a cat. “I just don’t get it. Why you can play but can’t even fix it?”

“You’ll fix it for me anyway.”

“No I didn—nevermind.”

Wonwoo’s lips curl up and his smile grows, makes him looks softer than ever. “Just fix it for me.”

“Okay, okay,” Mingyu finally gets up, crossing his arm. “Wait for me.”

  
Wonwoo did wait. And while he’s at it, he tries to do everything close to useful he never did before. For example, doing the laundry. It’s always been Mingyu’s job for sure and doing it makes him feel some sort of presence somehow.

Seungcheol kind of asking him to come with them to play football. At first he was refusing ‘cause it’ll be too tiresome and he won’t even join anyway. He will sit on the edge as always, looking at them playing excitedly. But for some reason he doesn’t want to be alone in the house. He knows it’s weird and not really him, he usually fine with spending time on his own.

They’re out until around noon, and Wonwoo brought home a carrot cake he bought while waiting the others playing. After that he stays on his bed, playing games boredly. At half past three, he’s getting ready to turn on the tv and see Mingyu.

Jihoon and Jisoo joined, opening two boxes of pizza for them to eat. Wonwoo’s heart tingles when he finally hear the very familiar sound, the sound he recognizes like the back of his hand. Seeing Mingyu’s face awakening a strange sensation on his chest. The feeling of yearning to be close, an unbearably stifling longing.

Wonwoo grabbing his phone beside him, opening his chat thread with Mingyu.

  
[coupon attached]

_u worked hard_

_go buy it_

Sent 15.50

_so sudden?_

Received 15.51

_you’ve been tired since this morning_

Sent 15.51

_thank u…_

Received 15.51

_[gif attached]_

Sent 15.51

_ㅋㅋ❤️_

Received 15.52

 

“Why is the pizza all down here?”

Minghao opened the door quite hard and make Wonwoo jolts on his bed, causing the phone to lift out from his grasp.

“Jesus Christ can you open the fucking door like a normal human being?” Jihoon grunts, throwing a few mushrooms at the man.

“I demand my pizza.”

“You don’t eat pizza, dipshit.”

Minghao giggles, proceed himself to sit beside Wonwoo and embrace his shoulder casually. “No I don’t. I’m here because I want to tease Jeon.”

Wonwoo quirking his eyebrow. “Why do you want to tease me?”

The man beside him rolling his eyes, showing his phone to Wonwoo. As soon as Wonwoo realized what’s on the screen his eyes stuck in there for quite long, trying to sink the information.

“He posted it on this thing?”

“It’s called Instagram story, nerd.”

“For all I care, Minghao.” The screen goes off and Wonwoo touches it again with his thumb. The light illuminates him, showing the pink cheeks right away. “If you post it like this… does it mean everyone can see it? Including our fans?”

“Yeah, pretty much likely.”

Despite entirely confident his heartbeat racing on full speed, Wonwoo is making sure to look preserve and calm. But everything’s that has been going on, it’s adding a whole lot of massive mess into the plate and Wonwoo’s not sure if he can keep up.

“They’re gonna think I’m a nice hyung, then.”

“You think that?”

“Yeah?”

“Let me break it down for you,” Minghao reaching for both of Wonwoo’s shoulder, turning the man so they can face each other properly. “It was weird for someone like you to show such an affectionate gesture, you know?”

“What do you mean _‘someone like me’_? What’s wrong with me?”

“I’m not gonna answer that.”

“Minghao.”

“Just don’t do something stupid.” There’s something strange in Minghao’s tone that Wonwoo can’t quite catch up but he lets it slide, ignoring every possibility on the line.

  
Later that night, Wonwoo bring the carrot cake he bought into Mingyu’s room only to find the man wasn’t there. And when he’s about to get out Mingyu suddenly entering the room with only a towel around his waist. Okay, get this; Wonwoo knows about all those gym routine that Mingyu, Jihoon, and Seungcheol has been doing but never actually pay any attention to it. It wasn’t really his area and he’s not interested in it even a bit. He should’ve accepted Seungcheol’s advice to come through so he wouldn’t be that shocked to see big bare muscular arms right in front of his eyes.

“Oh hey, what are you doing here?”

“Uh… Where’s Jihoon?”

“You come to see Jihoon hyung?” Wonwoo can see a little bit of pout on Mingyu’s lips.

“It’s—no. I don’t come to see Jihoon. Just asking where he is?”

Finally, a smile appearing on the younger’s features. “He’s in the office, recording something.”

“Oh.”

Mingyu walking through inside, reaching for his wardrobe. It was such a big mistake for Wonwoo to turning his body as well because now he can see the towel being thrown into the bed and showing a whole Kim Mingyu wearing nothing in particular and his eyes just— _burns_. It burns and it hurts like hell.

Wonwoo pulling Jihoon’s blanket from the bed and throwing it at Mingyu, making the tall man covered from head to toe. “Ow! What the hell?”

“Put some clothes on you, idiot!”

“I am! Don’t you see I’m picking it?”

“Well pick faster.” Still freezing on his place, Wonwoo covering his own face with both of his hands and feeling utterly embarrassed for no reason. He didn’t let go of his hands until Mingyu pulls it himself in the softest way possible. But still, Wonwoo had his eyes closed tight.

“What are you doing?”

“Are you decent?”

“Why don’t you find out?” The lanky man opens his eyes slowly until he can see Mingyu toothy grin and a few of his damp bang falling into his face. “Hi?”

“Hi.”

“Is this cake for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s eat it, then.”

“Here?”

“Well I don’t like to share it with everybody.”

“Okay.”

Mingyu pulls Wonwoo and make him sit on the bed right beside him, and then take the cake from the older’s hand. He feeds himself in silence, eyes never leaving Wonwoo’s sight. With every cut, every bite, every lick, that stare never ever leave the petite man even once. That makes Wonwoo feel small, exposed, vulnerable.

“Is,” Wonwoo coughs awkwardly. “Is the cake good?”

“Yep.” Mingyu licking his upper lip, and the other man internally groaning. “When did you get this?”

“This afternoon. I went with the other to play football.”

“ _You_ play football?”

“No,” he chuckles. “I’m being a good company.”

Mingyu continues eating the cake while Wonwoo takes his time replying to his mother’s text. They practically sit in silence but doesn’t necessarily feel awkward in return. It was when Mingyu finished with his cake and suddenly speak, making Wonwoo looking up from his phone.

“You know, I was surprised.”

“Abou what?”

“The whole coupon thing.”

Wonwoo blinks one, twice, and finally stop. “Why are you surprised?”

“It was surely the weirdest thing you ever did to me.”

“Why is everyone keep saying that?” Wonwoo whines, throwing himself into the bed and cover his entire face with a pillow. Mingyu laughs at the action and finds it quite adorable. He throws the pillow away and leans closer, cupping the older’s face tenderly. He was this close— _this close_ to reach something below the nose but prevent himself to not to. Wonwoo doesn’t flinch, but with Mingyu’s hands warmly cupping his face he can only freeze in place, hoping no one will suddenly barging and find out about this very weird position. “Should I make an Instagram account?”

“What?”

“That social media you’ve been playing lately…” Wonwoo sits himself straight, making Mingyu moves the grips to Wonwoo’s shoulder instead. “Should I make one?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You’re bad, hyung. Like shockingly bad I can’t even stare at your self-taken picture. The angle was bizarre and you look like a lonely potato. How did you even do that?”

“Okay, kid? For the record, shut up.”

Mingyu laughs. “Kidding. I just don’t like the idea of sharing you to the rest of the world.”

It’s a good thing Mingyu can’t see how hard Wonwoo pinches the bedsheet, otherwise it will be him running from there and hide inside the bathroom all his life or worst, crying due the mental breakdown right in front of him. “We've already shared ourself to the rest of the world, Mingyu. We’re an idol.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Okay, whatever. I’m not making it anyway. Not my thing.”

The tall man giggles, reaching for Wonwoo’s cheek to pinch it lightly. “Do what you wanna do, okay? If it makes you happy then I fully support.”

The younger getting up from the bed and take his hyung with him to escape the room. His left pinkie intertwining with Wonwoo’s, and the other hand holding the empty cake’s box. They go into the kitchen corner and throw the box away into the trash bin. After that Mingyu moves his right hand into the petite man’s tiny waist, escorting him into his bed. Wonwoo obeys, soon feeling comfortable laying on the fluffy pillow.

“You had a good rest today, right?”

“Yes. You?”

“I feel so much, much more, a lot of better after drinking something. A gift from someone.”

In a span of second Mingyu find it hard to control his heartbeat because there it is, the outgrow smile he’s always been waiting in sickness and in health. A reassuring affection after the said smile blooming, one day in spring. And like those golden brown leaf falling into the ground until finally blown away, one fine fall evening.

 

Days gone by and it’s finally their Ideal Cut’s tour. The date wasn’t so pack, but concerts have always been one breaking point for Seventeen’s career. They serve only the best but still in a sense that they willingly want to make everyone who attends can bring home the unforgettable experience for furthermore. One of the reasons they want to bring their all is that not easy to cope with all the schedules, the routine, and many other things they should’ve to keep in mind. The whole activity basically tested their teamwork, and it’s definitely would’ve been a shame to falling apart only because of some juvenile thing. Pushing the edge of the limits is all they can do.

Mingyu had asked him one day, about the Aju Nice pose thing when Wonwoo was waiting for his turn to do the make-up.

“Hyung?’

“Yeah?”

“About the pose…”

Wonwoo moved his eyes from his phone screen to the younger. “What about it?”

“What do you want us to do?”

Instead of answering Wonwoo just smiled and focusing back on the game. His thumbs danced on top of the screen, but Mingyu knew the said man was still with him. “What do you want to do?”

“You let me decide?” a disbelief tone.

“Yeah, why not?”

The younger starred at him with his sparkling eyes, full of hopes. Wonwoo likes this Mingyu the most, he radiates a young aura, ready to conquer the world and reach for his dream. This Mingyu gives positivity to anyone who sees it, including Wonwoo himself. “Anything?”

“Anything.”

And for all Wonwoo care, soon it was a day full of surprises from the other man. Mingyu wouldn’t tell him what he’s going to do but a few seconds before the lights changing its colour and the music started to blast, Mingyu would approach him and whisper to his ear. So close that Wonwoo sometimes can feel his nape hair shudders. “Embracing shoulder, incoming!” And he would’ve understood even without Mingyu have to elaborate.

Another time the younger will did it in the most sexual way possible. “I’m gonna bump the hell out my forehead to you tonight.”

It was hot, demanding, abusive, perplexingly Wonwoo’s insanity. Just that words alone and Wonwoo was this close to fly himself into the moon and crush it into ash.

  
After months doing the whole tour, without even realizing they finally reach The Final Scene as the wrapping concert of a whole journey. Tonight is special. Tonight means entangling the road they’ve been archiving and turn it into a flowery path. Warm memories they can always turn back to.

Mingyu is crying tonight on his ment. Happy tears, an appreciation for himself and the whole team for enduring all the ego and the pain. Tears that come as an embodiment of gratitude.

He sits too far away and Wonwoo can’t reach him. Him, as always, can’t be the first one who wipes the man’s tears. It’s never been him. Wonwoo and his entire stupid anxiety, Wonwoo and his goddamn fear, and Wonwoo and his dumbass mind. A complete mess, a whole disappointment.

Mingyu didn’t say anything, even when they start to play the song. This was supposed to be when the man whisper at him, something he ought to look forward. But none. No sign of him walking towards Wonwoo even a bit. So he guesses tonight’s Aju Nice would be that dull scene where they will only rendezvous, holding their mic and sing their part. Okay. That’s okay. _He thinks._

When they part come, Wonwoo glances at Mingyu’s for a while and his eyes still a little bit red from the crying. But being the media trained person he is, Wonwoo can help but put on his best smile into the audience and sing like the way he should be, even though one thing he really wants to do right now is caressing the younger’s hair and tell him he did great, and everything is gonna be okay.

Imagine how surprises Wonwoo was when Mingyu suddenly leans his head and burying his face in the crock of his neck. Wonwoo flinches for a bit, trying to internally meditate himself so he can put calm features although he’s dead inside.

Wonwoo can’t concentrate on anything after that. The feeling lingers, and it’s just impossible to help himself to get over it. But he doesn’t question it. Not when he wants Mingyu to do it again. And again. For eternity. Because he’s willing to be a shoulder to cry on, a home for Mingyu to come.

 

-

 

**_Describe the members as a type of book?_ **

_Mingyu… should I say he’s like a dissertation? It’s like everything is all organized._

 

_**What would you write in ‘Jeon Wonwoo’s instruction Manual’ ?** _

_Start by talking about video games, feed him Kimchi’s fried rice! ❤️_

 

_**What do you think of Mingyu?** _

_He… he thinks of others a lot, he’s my nice dongsaeng who thinks of me the most. He’s good with his hands so he helps out a lot whenever something’s not working right. Even when I bought my computer a while back he helped me assemble it._

 

**_And what do you think of Wonwoo?_ **

_I like hanging out outside while Wonwoo hyung likes to stay at home. We’re totally different types, but even if we don’t converse it doesn’t bother him. He’s really like a hyung._

_Perhaps those with a personality that matches mine well are rare. If someone’s making ramyun, I want to make it for them instead, even if I’m not going to eat it._

_-_

 

If there’s one thing about Wonwoo that no one really acknowledges, is that he needs a constant affirmation from other people. He needs to be listened, someone who will gladly respond to his oddity and not getting embarrassed by it. He needs validation on his existence and everything’s that comes with it.

Today’s fansign is pretty much sums it up.

They were in the middle of ‘Home’ promotion, and Wonwoo looks so good wearing those fluffy ash-green blazers. The members were doing one last ment before wrapping the event, then suddenly someone approaching Mingyu from behind. He didn’t realize it until the said person keeps whisper-calling him in such a low tone but still demand his attention.

“Hey.”

Mingyu turning his back, and welcomed by the older wearing a big white bear hat fit into his whole head except his face. And then Mingyu dies inside. All he can think about is how is he going to squish the hell out of him and kiss his cheeks repeatedly. A word cute wouldn’t even do him justice.

“What is this?” Mingyu chuckles, then fix the hat a little bit. Wonwoo leaning his body toward him, and Mingyu pulls him just so he can whisper more clearly, more closely.

“I’ve been calling you but you didn’t listen.”

Instead of replying Mingyu gulping a bit, tying the hat string so it will fit the head more nicely. He looks at Wonwoo and him only while doing it, and the man pouting because he thinks Mingyu is making fun of him. Wonwoo was crazily adorable and Mingyu is dizzy. He lightly slaps the petite man, making him falling a few steps back but immediately pull him ahead once again. “Why are you so cute?”

In which the older witty replying, “And you only realized that now?” He lets the man say anything in return. Anything. Wonwoo has the golden ticket to say anything good about himself and Mingyu is seriously going to hell for this.

Wonwoo whispers something on his ear for one last time. Something Mingyu can still quite catch even among all the noise. Something that makes his heart flutters and flies to the seventh sky. Something he will gladly tattoo on his forehead just so he can read it over and over again every time he looks at himself in front of the mirror.

_“Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you but then blush when I think about it later.”_

 

“Hao!” Mingyu entering the room in rush only to found it empty. Then he walks into the bathroom, still no sign of Minghao. Only when he goes back to the living room that he realizes Chan was there, sitting on a sofa while watching something on Netflix and eating bunches of chips. “Is Minghao here?”

Chan moving his eyes from the television. “Isn’t he downstairs?”

“No?” The tall man flushing his body beside Chan, snatch the chips the younger's about to eat. “He told me to come here so we can drink wine on his room.”

Chan shrugging his shoulders lightly. “Dunno, call him.”

Mingyu does for a few times, but the other man didn’t answer. “Guess I’m just gonna wait here.”

“M’kay.” Chan slurping on his slushie, then open another pack of chips. They watch the movie in silence, Mingyu asking a few questions like _what’s this?_ And Chan lazily answered _The Umbrella Academy_ with a flat tone. Soon Mingyu seems like he really into the movie because he absolutely misheard Chan shouting his name.

“Hyung!”

“What? Why?”

“You didn’t hear what I asked, did you?”

“You asked me something?”

Chan inhales, wiping his dirty fingers with some tissue. “Does it true… about you liking Wonwoo hyung? I mean romantically. Or not? Is that even possible? I don’t know that’s why I asked. Please don’t be offended. And if you don’t want to answer it that’s completely okay with me. It’s just Seungkwan hyung said—”

“Chan.”

“—that’s something been going on with you two. But how is it possible? Can you even—”

“Chan.”

“…Yes?”

“What did Seungkwan said?”

“He said we shouldn’t say anything to both of you ‘cause you might feel uncomfortable.”

Mingyu shifts on his seat, fixing his position so he can sit more straight. And then he inhales, allowing his lungs to get as much air as it can get. “Man, I don’t know… Do I look like I like him? Is that even possible? I mean,” The man laughs bitterly, swallowing his pride. “We’re both men and I don’t even gay.”

Chan lowering his head, feeling guilty for asking such a question in the first place. Mingyu looks like he’s about to punch someone in the face and Chan thought that’s going to be him.

“All I care is,” Mingyu continues, a little bit of smile appearing on his face. “I want to protect him, and I want him to be away from the amount of shit that could possibly make him unhappy. A simple as that. Don’t you all want that to your other members?”

“Hyung, it’s different. You and Wonwoo hyung… It’s just different.”

“Is it?” Again, the bitterly laugh. But Mingyu doesn’t necessarily aim it towards the younger.

“You know hyung, are you even aware of yourself? The way your face will bloom every time you see Wonwoo hyung on the screen, or how you gently take care of him, how you talk to him? I think on some point our fans will notice something, and I don’t know yet if it’s a good thing or otherwise. All I’m trying to say is, I never seen something so pure like the way you handle Wonwoo hyung when he’s sick. You turned into this grumpy old man who nags a lot at the sick man even though you know he’s older than you. You asking him to get out of his room, taking some exercise. But at some point, I realized that you reminded me of my mom. She’s always like that whenever I’m getting sick. If I were connecting the dots, I guess it’s just some kind form of affection, and Wonwoo hyung is absolutely lucky to have you.”

“Chan, you—” Mingyu’s mouth gaping in disbelief, trying to proceed everything all at once. “Thank you, I really appreciated what you just said. I… I honestly never put it into an account. Well, you know. I’m more action than thinker. But yeah… thank you. It helps me find myself more.”

Chan chuckles, patting Mingyu in the shoulder. “No big deal. It’s just… I love all my hyungs. And I want _you_ especially, to realize that you’re only going nowhere. You can make Wonwoo hyung yours all you want, claiming all of him. But out there, there’s no us between both of you. In this fucked up society, you’ve got nowhere to run and I want you to always remember that, Mingyu hyung.”

 

 

“Wonwoo, get up.”

“Go away.”

“Wonwoo…”

“Go away, Mingyu.”

“You promised you’ll come with me!”

Wonwoo groans, ruffling on his own hair frustrated. “You are such a pain in the ass.”

The other man laughs, not minding the harsh words. “Come on.”

Unfortunately on Wonwoo’s side and a wining on Mingyu’s side, because finally he can drag the older’s ass into the gym with him. Seeing Wonwoo there was surprisingly pretty funny, comparing his lanky body with all heavy equipment in there. Without even realizing, Mingyu never stop smiling ever since he saw it with his own eyes, how Wonwoo with all the effort left on his body lifting the damn barbell. Mingyu had to cover his mouth when he laughed out loud witnessing a-dying-Wonwoo running on the treadmill, almost passed out. He feels like being in a gym was never this fucking exciting before.

“This is useless.” Says Wonwoo, panting on top of the treadmill.

“No it wasn’t.”

“I’ve been doing this for two weeks!”

“Two weeks still wasn’t enough.”

“I’d rather die.”

“Okay, come here.” Mingyu push the stop button, and as soon as the machine stops working Wonwoo falling on his knees, having the time of his life just for breathing. Mingyu gets him up, leaning towards the older and bringing him to his embrace. “Do you wanna see something different?”

Wonwoo nods, then Mingyu escorts him into the big mirror in the corner.

“See that?” Mingyu continues. “Your shoulder is getting broader, and your chest is getting bigger.”

“Is it?”

“Of course.” The tall man started to positioning himself behind Wonwoo, holding on his tiny waist. “You look a lot healthier.”

“Yeah?” Wonwoo gulps, then clearing his throat. “Yours too. I mean, your body. It’s also, um, _healthy_.”

Mingyu smiles, turning the older’s body towards him while still holding onto the waist.

“Do you think I can also get taller than you?” Wonwoo adds.

“Why do you want to be taller than me?”

“So you can’t brag about your height.”

Mingyu pinches on the other man’s nose. “I won’t let you get taller.”

“Why?” Wonwoo is indeed whining.

“So I can do this,” Mingyu cupping Wonwoo’s face with his hands, pulling him a little bit, causing the man to tiptoe on his feet. And then out of the blue, give the lips a quick gentle peck. “If you’re taller… I also can’t do this.” Mingyu steps closer, kissing a little bit longer than the previous one.

“Um.”

“And if you’re taller…” And now there’s practically no gap between them, as Mingyu tilting his head and bit by bit, chewing on Wonwoo’s upper lip, turning the damn thing into his breakfast. Wonwoo was out of breath and basically cannot function properly. Slowly in a whisper, Mingyu’s tongue is inside, playing in there like it’s a brand new playground. Wet, needy, demanding. Everything in such a slower pace, giving both of them a strange pleasure they wouldn’t dare to trade with anything. “I definitely can’t do that.”

Wonwoo standing in shock, brain circuiting.

Both of them jolts when they see Seungcheol standing in front of the door, leaning himself and crossing his hands in front of his chest. He has this fierce eyes whenever he activates his leader mode and in a very good mood to scold his members, which always ended up him being so fucking scary for the next twenty minutes but a soft daddy afterwards. “Done?”

Both of them gulps, separating each other’s body slowly. No one dares to speak, their breath lingering into the thin air.

“I’m asking you guys a question.”

“Hyung, please, it’s not—”

“—Wonwoo’s fault? I already know what you were going to say, Kim. Don’t bother.”

“Seungcheol hyung…”

“What do I say about cutting me when I’m talking, Wonwoo?” For the love of God, Choi Seungcheol is frightening at times like this. “I will assume you guys do realize that this is wrong, okay?”

Both of them nods.

“Good, ‘cause I’m not here to judge. I’m not God, I’m your leader. Do all you wanna do for all I care but if this caused the group some cost, that’s when I’m gonna step up and forbid this to ever happening.”

Still no words. Both of them lowering their head, sinking in all the realization into one big mess. Seungcheol inhales, activating his soft mode right away. He couldn’t even last longer no matter how angry he was. That’s just the way he is.

“I’m not mad, really. I care about you guys a lot that’s why I’m doing this. And I’m responsible for everything that’s happening inside the group and my members.”

Wonwoo’s smile blooming on his features, then he steps ahead, hugging Seungcheol tight and patting the man on his back. “You know that you’re seriously the best right, hyung?”

“Don’t play that card on me.”

“No seriously, you’re the best.”

“Stop sabotaging me.”

“I’m not!” Wonwoo chuckles, his nose getting scrunch up in the most adorable way. “I really look up to you in everything.” It’s true. Wonwoo wasn’t just beating around the bush because he said it many times that if anything, he wants to also endure that kind of responsibility that Seungcheol has. If anything, Wonwoo respected him as equals as how he respected his parents.

And just like that Seungcheol began to melt. Embracing both of them at the same time, ruffling Wonwoo’s hair and softly hit Mingyu’s head. “He’s my brother, Kim. If you lay your hands on him I will seriously go for your dick.”

“But I also your brother!”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“How is it not the same thing?!”

“Jesus, calm the fuck down.” The older hit Mingyu’s collarbone with his fist. “But seriously, don’t mess with my group. Or my member. _Just—_ don’t do anything stupid.”

“I won’t.”

He won’t. No matter how badly Mingyu wants to make things different, he knows his limits and this is beyond it. That’s just not how life’s work. But for once, for once in a lifetime, he just wants to follow what his heart says. Even though it’s against everything, even though he and the rest of the world would be on each other’s throat, and even though he and Wonwoo will eventually just become some memories and it honestly doesn’t sit well with him, that’s okay. He wanted to stay where he was and exploring the future at the same time. He doesn’t want to make it logical because nothing ever makes sense when it comes to Wonwoo. It’s always been a constant obsession, his greatest misconceptions.

 

 

 

Wonwoo keeps accidentally giving out puzzle pieces and now Mingyu is sitting there, holding his breath, hoping that no one will try putting them together. His days were okay, but it can be changed according to how the universe wants it. They manifest differently to each individual based on their expectations, and not like Wonwoo, Mingyu tends to set it high that sometimes he’s not even surprised on being disappointed.

But opening the car’s door and find that Wonwoo is there, putting a soft pillow between his head and the car’s window and the sun illuminating his face and also the book on his grips, it was seriously the fucking high expectation he wouldn’t even dare to imagine, nor to ask.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, hi.” Wonwoo put this book down, patting the empty space beside him. “Younghwan hyung stopped by the dorm to give us the Thai food we ordered and said he will go again to pick you up at Inkigayo. So I guess I will just come since I missed you and all.”

Mingyu smiling from ear to ear, showing his white teeth openly. “You’re being so nice to me lately.”

“I’ve always been nice.”

“Uh…?”

Wonwoo uses the chance to pout his lips and hit Mingyu with his book. “Fuck you.”

Mingyu grabs the book before it can do any violence to his body. He opens it, receiving a judgy face from Wonwoo. He still remembered that one interview when he suddenly said he liked reading the book, and Wonwoo expression is exactly the same as that. “What this? There are so many words I can’t understand.”

“That’s because you’re dumb.”

“No, that’s because reading is boring.”

“It wasn’t boring, it makes you smart.”

“I’m smart. For example, I can cook and you’re not. No thanks to all those damn books.”

“And I know a lot of things that you don’t.”

“Like what?”

“The. Meaning. Of. Those. Words.” With every word Wonwoo spoke, Mingyu got hit by the book.

“Well okay if you insist,” the tall man reaches for Wonwoo’s pillow, placing it on top of Wonwoo’s thigh and leaning his head there. Wonwoo, with his arm hanging on top of Mingyu’s face while still holding his book looking at him in disbelief. “Read it for me.”

“What?”

“The book.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo cleared his throat, eyes wandering outside. The truth is, he’s trying to control his heartbeat of having Mingyu so close to his stomach and what’s down there. “Okay. Um… _da mi basia mille_ it means give me a thousand kisses. And, uh… d _einde centum_ means then a hundred.”

“Oh! So it’s like chained words?”

“It’s not a chained word, idiot. It has their own meaning, each one of them. And when you added up together, it’ll be supposed to be one meaning.”

“Ugh, why is it so complicate?” Mingyu groans, and the petite man shooting his eyes at him, making him flinch. “Okay continue.”

“d _ein mille altera, dein secunda centum, deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum_ ; then a thousand others, then a second hundred, then up to a thousand others, then a hundred.” Wonwoo breaths, his thumb caressing Mingyu’s eyebrow slowly. “ _dein, cum milia multa fecerimus, conturbabimus illa ne sciamus, aut ne quis malus invidere possit. cum tantum sciat esse basiorum_.”

“What’s that means?”

“I won’t tell you.”

“Why?! Wonwoo, c’mon. You can’t leave me hanging.”

“No, figured it out yourself.”

“You’re a bad storyteller, you know that?”

That melody Mingyu loves the most come out from Wonwoo’s mouth, blasting in a form of his laugh. “The meaning is kinda special because I think we relate to it in a way.”

“ _We?_ ”

“Yeah… It’s—how do I say this? Misty? But also exciting. Like walking into a restricted door even when we know it says forbidden.”

“Just tell me the damn meaning.”

Wonwoo laughs, knowing exactly the younger would be impatient if he keeps teasing him like that. But he didn’t lie. About the words being special to him, and how it described them perfectly. The petite man inhales, giving Mingyu’s eyebrow one last tender stroke before he speaks. “ _Then… when we have made many thousands, we will mix them up, lest we should know—or lest any evil person should be able to envy us. When they know—how many kisses we have shared._ ”

It was one of that spontaneous moment where Mingyu feels like he’s floating without even knowing how to come down, and he’s been drawn into three hundred and sixty directions at the same time without even feeling anything at all. His chest feels the pang, and there’s a big hole in it for misery to gather and welcoming each other. It’s funny because he can’t even remember the very first time he shivered and get his head full with the thought of Jeon Wonwoo, a man who looks like a misty morning, angelic smile. A man who smells like honey with no pain and Mingyu would like to have a taste of that. A man with a mess of gorgeous chaos in his eyes. A man who created a demon inside of Mingyu, and he can’t quite fathom whether it’s a bad thing or otherwise. How he didn’t remember something that made such a big difference in his life?

Mingyu wonders if Wonwoo’s chest ever aches at the sound of his name the same way Mingyu does whenever he hears Wonwoo’s, and he wonders if Wonwoo ever wishing they were something, not just a whole lot of nothing. A mistake. A disgrace they’ve ashamed of. Something the world doesn’t approve.

All he cares that he now badly wanted to hug the man so he did. He’s swallowing all of him, marking him for a split second so that he can have him only for himself without anyone interfering. Mingyu grabs Wonwoo by the cheeks, ignoring the fact that they’ve already been so closed there wasn’t any room for breath. Mingyu chooses the forehead instead of the lips. His mind suddenly flying back to what Chan said the other day, _If I were connecting the dots, I guess it’s just some kind form of affection, and Wonwoo hyung is absolutely lucky to have you._ Chan didn’t necessarily wrong but on second thought, Mingyu is the one who lucky. To have such a warming presence in front of him and how highly the desire to touch him everywhere. Mingyu tilts his head upwards, pulling Wonwoo a little bit down and then kiss him on the forehead, then right between the eyes, then each of Wonwoo’s eyelid, then the nose, and back into the forehead. The kiss lingers a little bit longer this time, and Wonwoo shivers. If he’s on his feet right now he surely will be failed on standing.

“That’s what happened when you’re taller than me.”

As much as Wonwoo wanted to nag at the younger for pulling the sarcasm one last time, he chuckles instead. This time, a few tears falling down on its own without Wonwoo even commanded it. But he guesses crying was okay. Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive. You feel things. And Wonwoo likes the idea of Mingyu making him feel things. The problem of being himself is that he can seem very cold and detached. He needs his space and needs his alone time. But being an idol is like being in the army, you don’t really get your alone time and sometimes acting detached can trigger other people. But with Mingyu, with him coming and messing up with every pattern that has already been carved for Wonwoo, the petite man hates being alone. He hates the feeling of being solitude in the world he made himself and that makes him depending on the younger. It’s scary because sometimes he doesn’t know how he’s gonna live in the world where Kim Mingyu doesn't exist, and that’s just adding more and more and even more weakness to his plate.

“Mingyu?”

“Mhm?”

“Someday? Um, when we disbanded and won’t live in the same house again, won’t even go to work together and probably won’t see each other, I want you to remember that there were days when-when you and me are just us. Even when you’re playing happily in your backyard with your kids and your wife sometime in the future, I want you to remember that you were the one that comes along and offers me an entire galaxy when I only expected a single planet. I want you to remember that—when we reborn, I still want this to happen. And I regret nothing. And I hope you feel the same as I do ‘cause what you thought matters. And I hope… I will cross on your mind just like you’re messing with mine.”

“Wonwoo?”

“Yea?”

“Shut up this is depressing.”

“I know let’s just stop.”

Eyes to eyes and in such a fierce awkward glance, both of them suddenly laugh out loud. It’s a minute. They’re looking at each other again, they can’t help but laugh even loud. And then it’s two minutes, three minutes, still no sign they will stop anytime soon. But after lots of unstoppable drizzles and hurricanes, they think they deserve a good laugh. Laughing was also okay.

“We are so doomed, aren’t we?” Mingyu, still giggling for all he cares. Wonwoo likes Mingyu’s teeth. And he absolutely loves Mingyu’s teeth when he laughs.

“So doomed we can go to jail.”

“It’s okay, we’re on this jail together.”

“Oh for fuck sake, no more High School Musical reference, okay? You’re fucking twenty-two, upgrade your damn preference.”

“It was supposed to be romantic and now you ruined it!”

“I didn’t! High School Musical wasn’t supposed to be romantic in the first place.”

“Oh, yeah? And who’s crying over that video on youtube where your beloved cat reunited with his girlfriend and then live happily ever after?”

“Are you seriously going to disrespect Simba like that?”

“ _Who the hell is Simba?!_ ”

“ _The cat!_ ”

“Ugh! Why are we fighting over a cat named Simba? Just shut up and kiss me, Jeon.”

They kissed, passionately. Wonwoo leaning down so he can easily be crushed on Mingyu’s whole lips. All in rush, immersed as they have just given the knowledge that the world is gonna end tomorrow. And Simba was long forgotten.

  
Wonwoo will always be a strawberry and cigarette, bittersweet yet poisonous. He will forever be Mingyu’s 3 a.m thought, the hours he had wasted just to thinking about many possibilities. Wonwoo will always be the cause of his sleepless night and leave him at his most vulnerable self. Mingyu guesses when the time comes, Wonwoo will be those memories that he totally, tenderly, and tragically willing to keep on a Pandora’s box.

  
In the end, Mingyu doesn’t remember falling in love with Wonwoo. He just remembers holding his hand and realizing how much it was going to hurt when he had to let it go, and he never recovered from all the pain. But Mingyu is breathing and he's believing, that people have their own muse and everyone deserves to be happy. For the time being, he doesn’t intend to let anything ever out of his grasp.

 

[]

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/cikicuba) | [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/cikicuba)


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